The word "argument" has negative connotations for many people. It is associated with heated exchanges and passionate disagreement. But your experience of argument need not be so negative. Consider that the word 'argument' also means 'a line of reasoning'. By approaching a verbal or electronic discussion, even a hostile one, with this definition in mind, you can learn to separate the logical content of the exchange from its emotional content and thereby deal with each more effectively. You may even find the process of so doing an agreeable one.
The following are a few tips and techniques that I've learnt in the course of a great many arguments, flame wars and other "vigorous discussions" that may help you argue more purposefully, and thereby come to view argument as a stimulating activity to be relished, rather than an ordeal to be avoided.
At the end of a formal debate, one or more adjudicators decides which team are the victors. If only it were that clean cut in real life. A good portion of the time, arguments arise spontaneously, continue in a haphazard manner and then fizzle out without any clear resolution or outcome. When you cannot force your opponent to concede their losses or acknowledge your victories, it becomes impossible to keep score. Therefore you should not enter any dispute, particularly an online one, with visions of your ultimate rhetorical triumph, in which you lord your argumentative superiority over your opponent, who shirks away, cap in hand and ego in tatters. It's not going to happen.
So why engage in argument at all, if you can never win? Here are a few possible motivations, some of which you might not have considered:
This is at once the most difficult and the most valuable aspect of arguing effectively. Strong emotion can cloud your thinking and inhibit your ability to reason objectively and thoroughly. Anger is what turns a discussion into an argument and then into a flame war. Responses you give while angry are likely to be poorly considered, so it is invaluable to have techniques at your disposal to moderate that anger so that you can argue at your best and even begin to enjoy the dispute. Here are a few techniques that might be useful:
Realizing that your opponent is a susceptible to emotion as you are, you may choose to use this to your advantage. Here we venture out of the realm of the logical and into the rhetorical. If you can identify your opponent's "hot buttons", then you may be able to goad them into making an unconsidered response. Once made, the response cannot be retracted and you may be able to play that advantage for the remainder of the argument. When being inflammatory or provocative, be careful not to overdo it. Lest you appear vitriolic or juvenile, make your barbs short and well targeted. Ensure that they are offered as parenthetical asides rather than as a basis for argument.
Perhaps the most effective means of disarming your opponent's insults is with wit, as demonstrated by the following exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Asbury:
Lady Asbury: Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your wine.
Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Those not skilled in argument are often prone to employing logical fallacies and being unaware that they are doing so. It is vital that you be able to recognize at least the basic logical fallacies so that you don't end up trying to attack an insensible argument, or formulating one yourself. Common logical fallacies include:
It's easy to end up arguing at cross-purposes with someone simply because you each have different definitions in mind for component terms of the subject being debated. So a good starting point when engaging in debate is to first ensure that you and your opponent have precisely the same understanding of the topic being argued. Remarkably often, the act of precisely defining the topic will serve to circumvent any subsequent argument, as it becomes clear that the warring parties do not have conflicting positions on a given subject, but instead are talking about different subjects entirely.
There are several reasons why you might choose to ask your opponent questions:
For example, suppose you are arguing the merits of free software with one of Richard Stallman's disciples. You might use questioning to tease out the inconsistencies in their philosophy:
Free Software Advocate: All software should be "free", as in "freedom"
You: How do define "free", exactly?
FSA: "Free" means that you can do with it whatever you want.
You: With no restrictions at all?
FSA: Yes - you have absolute freedom to do with it whatever you please. Anything else is an attempt to take away your freedom.
You: Then I would be free to make it non-free if I wanted to?
FSA: Ummm... I guess so.
You: But wouldn't that contradict your original statement that "all software should be free"?
If the last response from the FSA had been different, the argument might have headed in a different direction:
You: Then I would be free to make it non-free if I wanted to?
FSA: No - that's the exception. You can't inhibit the freedom of others.
You: But doesn't that mean that I'm not really free? Specifically, I'm not free to inhibit the freedom of others?
FSA: Sure, but you have to draw the line when it comes to fundamental liberties.
You: And what basis do you have for claiming that free use of software is a fundamental liberty?
... and so the FSA is led to an awareness of the circular reasoning they are employing.
A common error is to extend the claims you're making to a broader scope than is really necessary to make your point. In doing so, you extend the logical territory that you have to defend and permit counter-argument on a broader front. This is one of the primary benefits of maintaining a skeptical attitude. Skeptics assume as little as possible, and therefore have less to defend than True Believers who are prone to making broad assumptions and sweeping generalizations.
Suppose you're arguing about the quality of open source software versus proprietary software. An open source zealot may make a broad claim such as "Open source software is always of higher quality than proprietary software". A universal qualifier such as "always" makes their claim easy to disprove - all that is required is a single counter-example. A more cautious open source enthusiast might claim "Open source software is usually of higher quality than proprietary software", which is a narrower claim than the one made by the zealot, but one still requiring evidential support. A skeptic might ask "How do you define quality?"
Claims can be accidentally over-extended by provision of a flawed example of the general point you're making. Your opponent counters the particular example you've provided and then assumes victory over the general claim it was supposed to be illustrating. Before choosing to illustrate your general claim with a specific example, be very sure the example is a true instance of your general case. It may be more prudent to leave out your example all together.
It's easy to make bold claims and impressive assertions; it's not so easy to back them up with proof. A common problem in argument is the failure to identify which party carries the burden of proof, and to what extent that burden exists. The general rule is this: He who makes the claim carries the burden of proving it. If you claim "Linux is more reliable than Windows", then it is your responsibility to not only specify your definition of "more reliable" but to provide evidence that supports your claim. Your claim is not "provisionally true" until someone can prove you wrong; and neither is it false. It's truth or otherwise is simply unknown.
This is an area of common misunderstanding amongst those with pseudo-scientific beliefs. For instance, UFO believers will look at a history of UFO sightings for some region and note that although 99% have been attributed to aircraft, weather balloons and such, 1% of them are still unexplained. They delight in this 1% figure as if it were vindication of their beliefs. But 1% being "unknown" does not equate to "1% being alien beings in spaceships". It might also mean that the 1% of reports were simply too vague or incomplete to permit any kind of conclusion being reached. Those claiming by implication that the 1% represent alien beings carry the burden of proving that with evidence.
But always remain aware of the context in which claims are made. Different contexts bring with them different levels of formality, and consequently different evidentiary standards. If your friend remarks "Boy it's hot outside", it's obviously not appropriate to insist upon meteorological data to back up their claim. But if an environmental activist claims "average daytime temperature world-wide has risen an average of 0.5 degrees in the last century" then the first thing you'll be wanting to know is where the data came from that supports that claim.
Finally, there is a delicate ethical issue to consider when arguing. Every so often you find yourself locking horns with someone who appears to have a fairly shaky grip on reality. I'm not referring to simple eccentricity or religious fervor, but psychiatric illness. For examples, you can refer to some of the emails received by the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF [link here]) in response to their million dollar challenge. James Randi is a well known skeptic and magician. Since 1994, the JREF has offered a prize of one million dollars to anyone able to demonstrate paranormal or supernatural abilities or phenomena under controlled observational conditions. To date, no one has successfully claimed that prize. But some of the applications [link here]they receive suggest that the respondent is unwell - perhaps delusional. If you should find yourself in online discussion with someone whom you suspect is unencumbered by the restrictions of rational thought, then perhaps the best you can do is exit the discussion immediately. To continue is to risk antagonizing someone who may be genuinely dangerous. This is one of the prime reasons for conducting online arguments anonymously, where possible.
There comes a point when you want to exit an argument. Perhaps you've grown bored with it; perhaps it has become clear that your opponent's views are so heavily entrenched that progress is impossible; perhaps your opponent is offering only insults without any logical content. Here are a few ways of bringing the argument to a definite conclusion, rather than just letting it peter out:
Argument reconstruction is the process of analysis the verbal or written form of an argument and identifying the premises (both explicit and implied) and the conclusion/s it contains. To effectively rebut your opponent's arguments you need to know exactly what they are claiming, and upon what basis they are claiming it. For each premise you identify, consider whether the premise is true or false. If you think one or more of them is false, call attention to each of them and ask your opponent to justify them with evidence. If the conclusions don't follow logically from the premises, call attention to the logical error. If the conclusion cannot be true without one or more unstated premises also being true, then call your opponent's attention to their reliance upon implicit premises and, where those premises are in doubt, insist that evidence be provided in support of them.